Justice for Zainab

My final screams: “Amma! Allah! Amma? Allah?”

Who else is left to call? Do I have the energy to call? Aah ... aaahhhh ... aaaahhhhh! Can he hear the screams in my head? Is that why he is punishing me more? Amma said Allah never burdens His caliph more than he can shoulder. Am I really that strong? Can I take this pain any longer? My fragile self was shattered ages back when he slapped me to the ground and took every bit of my free will, leaving my wretched self sobbing, and then screaming for some pre-destined help. How much more could I kick, how much more could I punch? Perhaps Amma has been right all along about my bad eating habits: “you cannot grow strong if you do not finish your lamb and vegetables”. He tore away my shirt Amma. I was too weak to fight. He ripped the clothes you bought me last time we went shopping together. You said I looked like a princess. Is that the sin my Allah is punishing me for? Molvi saab said we should not look pretty. It can seduce the minds of my superior gender and fill them with a lust that renders them incapable to use cognition whilst the inferior gender is traumatized against her will by the Will of God. Why is he screaming now? I am incapable of moving my lips. And now incapable of keeping my eyes open. It hurts so much. Am I still sniffing dirt? Should I scream now? I am incapable of offering a sob. Is this how I shall cease to be? Is this where I shall cease to be? Why is it Allah that now I cease to be!

A decade later...

“Her helpless eyes stare through me Hazrat g every time I close my eyes and reflect intently on Allah”, the perpetrator vented!
“Charges of murder were not proven against you, only charges of rape. You have spent a decade imprisoned under 366-A of the constitution of Pakistan. You owe no more to the State. And if you are breathing today it is a proof that Allah (SWT) has a greater purpose for you.” Hazrat G explained

“So you think my repent has been embraced by the all Merciful Allah?”
“All I can tell you is that you should not despair. La Taqnatu is the preaching of our Holy Book.”

The same year they saw his burdened soul resurface bright. He cleansed himself, after a decade and a half, of all the guilt that had demonized him to this day. He entered ihram (state of physical and spiritual purity) and for the next two weeks he was sure to keep himself far from any sin known to him. He is a Haji now. It rouses the feeling of “AllahuAkbar” in some. According to Hazrat G all his sins have been converted to virtue at his heartfelt repent and that is why Allah had called him to His Abode, His Ka-aba.

I grieve: for my existence, at my belief! I grieve!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Screams Are That Loud

Image
He was standing a couple of inches short of 6 feet with an aged pale dark skin drooping much like a weeping tree in autumn. A thick beard was neatly combed and the white of his entire attire was broken only by the red in the piece of cloth he had on his shoulder. Here I was standing before him and him standing before an embellished collection of Islamic literature. “You are comfortable with the floor seating or should I call for a chair? Hammad, Hammad? ...” I had to stop him there. I would much rather take the same seat as the person I would like to converse with. “So you said you had to ask me certain questions pertaining to Saaleh?” “Yes”, I continued as I made myself comfortable across from him in the small cubicle, “We gathered you gave him provisions for his way back that terrible night.” “He was a whimpering six year old raw flesh when I discovered him outside our madrassa. I asked him if he were hungry or in danger. He disclosed how badly he had been wrong
Read more

Something for the First Time

Image
“How cruel this season of unrest!” I reflected. Day in day out - the jarring sounds of catastrophic sirens, heinous carnage flooding the television screens, flashing images of mutilated bodies at every second scroll and those of disgraced selves at every third tap – the sorry state of humanity, it had my creativity enslaved. This demise of human virtue was broken one fine evening, as I was browsing through some art, by a promising pop up of a philanthropic organization. There are several academic institutions in our community, but there is hardly any that offers education and counselling to those deprived many who occupy the urban slums. I was destined to be a part of the movement; I urged to share my two cents. My orientation at “The Citizens’ Foundation” was less insightful than I had imagined. The primary concepts were laid by the speakers in a rather well articulated but somewhat rugged manner. There was plenty left for the future sessions, which at that particular point I s
Read more

Passage to Desensitization

Image
The urge to be in control, The fear to be in submission: Subjecting your own self to harm; Knowingly, approvingly, directing self to pain: For it is this feeling - A feeling emerging after an age, Approvingly, knowingly, you desire to feel How it feels to feel, And then it builds: The burden, too heavy now To bear You surrender - Knowingly, approvingly, surrender to their urge, The pain doesn't cessate, Nay, it amplifies with every surrender - Approvingly, knowingly, you cease to be!
Read more